hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
My liver just had a heart attack.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
