I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
