Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
and she was petting her beer can
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
