oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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