do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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