happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
