I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
