That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
