i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
My bed smells like the plague
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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