i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
