and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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