Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
i believe in u and ur pee
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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