The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
