is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
