So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
