batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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