i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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