So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
