Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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