Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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