So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
