my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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