i may or may not be watching the land before time
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
