do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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