Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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