Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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