Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
