did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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