i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
