She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He better not be in your backpack
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
