i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
