Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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