I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
