There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
