brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
