All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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