I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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