either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
