Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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