I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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