gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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