when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
