I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize