you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
