One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
