walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
