Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
