i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
