Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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