I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
